What goes on in the Mountain
by ProudAthena
Summary: Fancy dress day at Stargate Command. Basically parody.


_**Author's Note** – okay, I have to say that this piece owes its genesis to the fact that we had a fancy dress day at work the other week and it made me think about how the SGC would do it. For the purpose of my story, it takes place any time up to the end of Season 7 (excluding Season 6 because Daniel's in it). Just to let you know that, on the humour scale, this probably almost qualifies as parody._

_**Disclaimer** – Don't own them, any of them, not the characters, nothing. I play with them and I put them back._

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When you worked under a mountain, strange echoes and the odd unidentifiable noise tended to be a fairly integral part of the experience. All the same, Dr Daniel Jackson, archaeologist and inter-galactic babe magnet, had slowly become aware that the vague clanking he'd been hearing for a while seemed to be getting louder.

Curiosity being one of Daniel's defining characteristics, and the cause of much irritation to those who knew and loved him best, he felt compelled to investigate.

After several minutes of peering carefully around corners and listening at doors, he finally tracked the noise to its source.

It was a medieval knight. In full armour and hauling around what appeared to be a stuffed dragon with an extremely gory lance protruding from its well rounded stomach.

Daniel was just telling himself that this place just got weirder and weirder when the knight clanked to a halt and raised a cheerful armour plated arm in greeting. "Hey! Danny Boy! Still not gettin' into the spirit of SGC Fun Day then?"

Mock medieval, Daniel grimaced, trying not to wince too obviously at the historical incongruity of a 12th Century helm with a 16th Century lance and reminding himself to be grateful that Jack had gone with the chain mail rather than the codpiece option. The choices had been seriously weighed, over some time, and Daniel had made his feelings particularly clear on the matter.

"Ah no … Sir John … I'm not. Nice dragon."

"His name's George." Jack confided with a frown. "Carter says there's no such thing as dragons and he's just a stegosaurus but I've told George that's just sticks and stones stuff and I know he's really a dragon, on the inside."

Realising this particular train of thought was probably showing Daniel a side of his character he didn't need to see more of, Jack attempted his trademark heel rock, and then had to recover himself with a jerk when he realised that the added weight of the armour made the move highly unwise. Daniel turned his head to hide the smirk.

Attempting to retrieve what little remaining dignity he could still be said to possess, Jack ignored Daniel and focused on SG13 who, dressed as Ninja, were attempting a covert manoeuvre along the corridor. "Grasshoppers! If you seek the Samurai of SG3, I believe they have attained the sanctuary of the … ah … briefing room."

Colonel Dixon bowed deeply in acknowledgement of precious intelligence relating to his enemy. "Hai! Banzai! Kawasaki!"

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"No costume, Sir?"

General Hammond smiled back at her. "Look more closely, Major."

Sam just looked confused.

Enjoying his joke immensely, the General decided to give her a clue. "I'm a General in the US Air Force."

If anything, this just appeared to confuse her further. "I know, Sir."

!No. I mean I'm disguised as a General in the US Air Force."

Sam's eyes slid over the familiar, stocky, blue shirted figure in front of her. Suddenly her eyes caught the name badge above his right breast pocket. Instead of the standard stamped 'HAMMOND' it usually bore, the badge was covered with a white adhesive label on which had been hand-written 'CARTER'.

Hammond's smile broadened at the groan when the penny finally dropped and she got his little joke.

"Hi Dad. Nice to see you. Gosh you've … shrunk."

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Jack moved 'George' out of the way so Teal'c could join he and Daniel at the table in the commissary. "What's the costume T?"

Teal'c inclined his head gravely and the smallest hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Is it not obvious, O'Neill?"

Jack gave the big man a once over. Teal'c was wearing his loose Jaffa robes, and had leaned a staff (not a staff weapon but an actual staff, Jack noted) against the wall before taking his seat. He was also wearing a pair of pointed, green ears. Exchanging a perplexed look with Daniel, Jack spoke for them both 'Nope, I got nothin'.'

'Yoda I am.'

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_**Hope you're enjoying this so far. I'm going to add another chapter as I have some more characters in mind for some of the other 'regulars'. Always happy to get suggestions if you have a great idea (here's a hint – I imagine Sam as some really obscure but undoubtedly brilliant scientific figure OR an historic heroine but none of the ones I have come up with quite fit the bill.) As I said, suggestions (and, obviously, reviews) always welcome…**_


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